I work at the only place on the planet where conditions are such that I’m able to feel superior to other people.
I don’t like this about myself and I try to fight it. I have no business feeling superior to anyone.
I KNOW it’s “WRONG.” It’s UNJUSTIFIED and UNSUPPORTED by the facts. It’s JUDGMENTAL, MEAN-SPIRITED, and CONDESCENDING. It’s ARROGANT. It’s EVERYTHING that I despise in other people when I see it.
These people are smarter than me – vastly smarter. They’re post-graduate educated scientists and engineers.
Our hope for a brighter future is pinned to their adorable, little pocket protectors.
Still, when I go to the gym at work and see things like this, I can’t help it. It make me feel . . . better.
I simply have to outrun that guy and I’m zombie-free. I think I’ve got this.
See? Arrogant! – I’m just a bitch.
I’ve run a couple times since my last post.
I still suck. But . . . I MIGHT be getting a little better. I’m doing 5Ks. I still can’t do one completely without walking, but I THINK they’re getting a little better . . . they don’t hurt as much.
But, I’m probably wrong about that. It might be that my brain is changing my perception of reality in the same way that my brain allows me to feel superior to people who are, objectively speaking, far better than me. Shallowly, I’ll claim my perceived superiority and improved performance as a WIN regardless of reality. Gotta take my wins where I can – even if I have to manufacture them in my distorted reality.